New Deal, Tired Deal--bow about the Best Deal?

Was it worth a couple of trillion bucks (the whole gross domestic product is $13 billion, I think) to find out our dear electeds were heaving spaghetti at the wall in Grand Canyon-sized buckets?

Too late now.

Oh—and there may not be more where that came from in the event things get worse. Probably just as well. Having access to money just makes these people crazy.

But we aren’t that far gone, are we, American people? We know we need some money to live, that we have talents or merchandise sitting on the shelf. What the heck—let’s get busy and spend again. Let’s sell these assets to each other. Let’s deal—barter—get things we need at a satisfying bargain.

I call it The Best Deal.

…Did the snooty roof guy want $10K to replace your shingles? Call him again—offer $3000. See what happens. Hey-it’s only money and they are probably taking away our credit cards anyway.

…Let’s see some car dealers run ads that say--$28K if you can get credit, but only $12K if you bring over cash. Today! Drive off the lot! A car isn’t going to appreciate anyhow.

…Need a new furnace or heat pump? Look for the huge rebates. Ask for huge rebates.

…What about those goofy plasmas? If you really feel our politicians are worth that much money to watch in action, get one of those—but get a huge honking deal or walk out!

…People hurting in your neighborhood—get together and each cook two extra meals a night and pass them out. When it’s their turn—they can slap together the PB&Js. No J? OK—PB.

…When those food bank envelopes come—put in five bucks, more if you can. I have never had cash lost in the mail yet. Don’t believe everything “they” say.

…You can still go to the department store and get makeup. Just make it work harder—here’s a secret: Lipstick blends as a blusher and looks mahvelous. Also, you can find high-end makeup on Ebay.com.

….My Mexican neighbors like to cook prickly pear. I have tons—and they bring me a little dish of the salsa. Yummy! It also saves on my cactus chopping fees. But you better believe it—those guys who come around in the trucks to do your landscaping—they are dealing.

We can’t stop spending. Even the dreaded George Bush was more right than wrong when he said to keep shopping after 9/11. We don’t have an industry-based economy anymore—it’s based on consumption. If we stop consuming, people lose their jobs, then they can’t consume—and that’s when the pols get into it and screw it up.

But we are all going to have to settle for less. Those who get foreclosed feel horrible until they don’t have an obscene mortgage payment to make and one that isn’t building anything for them in life. Credit rating? Hey, we’re all ruined.

Don’t worry, it will be fine in the long run. And the beautiful part of getting out there and dealing is that everyone gets something and everyone feels like they got the best of it.

When is the last time you felt like you were getting The Best Deal? How does today sound?