Ah, places to vent

As anyone who has ever met me knows, I am all about the venting.

According to Joseph De Avila, WSJ. May 28, 2009, some New Yorkers went to LaidOff Camp and instead of hearing speakers blab about the joys of starting your own business, the session turned into a major bitch fest.

These LaidOff thingies are appearing around the country. You can not only complain, but meet people and maybe even get advice on surviving or going on your own.

These camps and meetings emanate from social networking and come together fast.

A favorite complaint is job fairs—waiting hours for a crummy selection of employers, Sometimes people waited to belly up and learn to sell Avon.

Not what they had in mind.

If you want to find a place to have a drink and socialize and BITCH without employers getting mad at you, check out www.laidoffcamp.com, www.outofworkchicago.com, www.the405club.com, or www.layoffmoveon.com.

Then, feel free.

Surviving when others are falling

More layoffs and you are not laid off. Can you deal with the weird mixture of relief, anger, fear, depression, dread, and regret?

It depends on how the company went about the layoffs, experts say. If they did it with respect—rather than frog-marching people to their cars on Friday—you will have an easier time staying loyal and working harder.

Note to employers: It helps if the company tells remaining staff the business justification for the layoffs. I read today that one little company had to drop health insurance, but did keep people on? How would you feel about that?

Someone in command needs to say he or she made the decision—not just that a “decision was made.”

People process better if they can ask questions, employers. If you are not being laid off see if you can find out where you stand.

If they have already cut a lot of things that make staying less desirable, remember, you still have a job.

This may be why “suck it up” was invented. Or maybe just the expression, "This sucks."

Overqualified--or undersmart?

Jane Porter (WSJ, May 26, 2009) reports that a NY woman sent out 100 resumes to receptionist jobs, but got only one callback. Then she took her Master’s off of it. The calls started coming.

Many people are willing to take a pay cut to have some job these days, but can’t get the chance.

Still, recruiters don’t like this because if the person lies on the resume--even to underplay experience—lying is lying.

Yet, some applicants try not to look so senior-level if they can. Instead of manager, they may use the term office support.

Even some agencies now suggest this.

But once you have done it, your resume may no longer get you the interviews for the job you really want.

Tough call. Maybe if you are smart enough to work the situation this way, you deserve the better job.

Giving when it hurts

Frank Greve of the McClatchy Newspapers, says poor people are the most generous givers. He cites a homeless panhandler who buys a hungry friend a cheeseburger with a tenth of his net worth.

Remember net worth—people used to have that before the housing market crashed.

America’s poor give more percentage-wise than higher income groups. This is similar to how people who have been bartenders and wait staff always tip well.

You know it counts.

The poorest fifth of households gave an average of 4.3% of their income. The richest, 2.1 percent.

My late father tipped 15% on the first $10 of a check, then 10%. Why? Who knows?

Don’t forget all the undocumented money earned in the US and sent home to Mexico and other places.

Women are more generous than men. Older give more than younger. More poor people go to church—where they also give.

When I get a food bank solicitation in the mail, I send $5 or $10 in cash—don’t even bother with a check.

Female panhandlers—I probably will give.

I used to have an extremely rich client who told me once that he never gave to panhandlers. Why give them $1, when he could afford to give them $20 or $50, he asked me. So he gave nothing.

Giving or not giving is a wacky subject. I will say I am not a fan of the well-dressed con man who says he needs enough to get to a job interview. He takes your card or address and says he will send the money back.

It is such a common con--in DC, at least--that everyone knows it.

Can't afford child care anymore?

Sue Shellenbarger writes in the WSJ (May 20, 2009) that some couples are scrambling to keep an eye on the ball and the tots at the same time.

They trade off the kids in the parking lot before one has to go to a meeting and the other has to spell him or her with the kids.

This has resulted in Dad doing more.

The whirl is considered so stressful that it is compared with a treadmill test at the cardiologist’s.

Some couples will survive (meaning marriage), the article said, some will not.

We are talking shared child care here and scheduling, are we not? Come on!

Psychologists say try to concentrate on the love and why you married the person when the arrangements get frustrating or overwhelming.

Yeah.

And of course, be grateful you have two people to trade off. What do single parents do? I had child care and it was still a juggling act.

But we all survived.

Ixnay on bad references

According to the Associated Press’s Eileen A.J. Connelly, most companies still check references you give, although that may be waning a little with the coming of the social networking sites, which they also check (or they may look for your coworkers on a networking site and ask them informally).

I always tell my refs to say I kicked heroin without a program, which probably goes a long way toward explaining why I am self-employed.

Asking someone to give you a reference is tricky. And you should ask. It would be nice to know what they plan to say, but don’t put them on the spot.

Make sure the person knows you well, but also knows your work accomplishments and habits. Think of vendors you have worked with, clients. You could even offer to draft a few talking points if you think the person would appreciate it or be receptive to that.

At least remind potential references of how long you have worked at a place and what you did.

Send a short email to the reference and say someone will call and here is a description of the job and why you want it.

If the person says they are not allowed to get involved, don’t push it.

If you are laid off, ask for a reference letter as you wind things up. Otherwise, people can “forget” or they get laid off, too.

If you suspect one of your references is trashing you, there are firms who will call and see what they say. Might be worth a google.

Always get your medical records

No matter how many hassles you get into, you need one more: If you are hospitalized or get tests, get those records.

First, never ever assume that if you don’t hear back on a medical test, no news is good news. There are seven ways results can go astray. If you don’t hear back in 2 weeks, call.

Second, if you are in the hosp or go to the ER, get the record. Yes, it’s a soul-sapping hell of bureaucracy—but remember, this is the info on you the govt wants to have. Don’t you want it to at least be accurate?

Ah, but it’s not that easy.

First, you must call the hospital, ask for "patient records," then they will mail you a form and you fax or mail it back. In days or weeks, the records come.

Then you read through—my mother was in the ER two weeks ago for 3.5 hours and they managed to say she has Alzheimer’s (nope), Type II diabetes (nope), and was unconscious from the fall that brought here there (also nope).

Under HIPAA, they say you can “correct” the record. But au contraire—you cannot get the info out, just file your own competing statement which supposedly comes up the first thing on the screen if someone accesses the record.

Will a doctor believe you, the dopey layperson, or the doctor who supposedly wrote the other items? Who knows.

I am just saying—these records make interesting reading. See what you are getting tagged with.