Brand X-cellent

Kathie Canning, writing in the Costco Connection (Oct 2009), where your humble corespondent also writes on occasion, says the days of brand loyalty are waning along with our economic well-being.

Private label items no longer say BEER or POTATO CHIPS. In fact, a survey shows that nearly 80% of buyers view these positively—and no longer think of them as Brand X.

Why should they? Private label foods are often made by the same companies making the big boys. A&P long had Eight O’Clock Coffee, Sears has Kenmore.

Then TV took over and touted the brand names and we went along. Besides, those black & White generic packages (BEER) were lame.

So the brand equivalents came along—a little sex appeal, lower price. Costco has Kirkland Signature, Target Archer Farms, and Safeway O Organics.

These are lot cheaper, too—an average of 27%!

Private labels are both food and non-food.

So grab for VALUE and go home and have a BEER. You can afford it!

Vacays without pay--furloughs

Let’s see…don’t want to fire ‘em, but can’t afford ‘em along with MY profits, so…
how about some time off without pay, so I can still bring 'em back?

Some people think this is a plus. In some ways, maybe so.

Accoding to RetirementJobs.com, 15% of employers have pulled this—including newspapers, univs, state govts, and regular old businesses.

Two days furlough a month—the average—is equal to an 8-9% pay cut. Remember when people got 3-5% raises, not cuts?

Sometimes employees can “pick their poison” and decide when to be off—but often this runs afoul of laws governing employment. Salaried employees (who don’t get overtime) are likely to be required to take a full week rather than individual days. They are not supposed to do “any” work or check in.

Sometimes a couple of days off a month qualifies you for unemployment. This varies by state. The advice is to check into it and file if you are going to be furloughed more than five days.

Usually you keep your benefits, though—which is much better than being laid off.

Many experts say furloughs are better than laid-off, so don’t bitch too loudly. But suit yourself.

Lessons from the gang

Mainstreet.com has some job hunting tips from the past.

OK—they had bad jobs and were bad at getting them. Remember George lying on the floor for some reason to get a phone to give himself a fake reference? Of course, he did work for the Yankees for a while until Steinbrenner noticed.

Only Jerry had a career—Mainstreet reminds us. Comedian. It helps to be funny and a pig for punishment to get that job.

Elaine had a few office jobs (lesson: never dance at an office party), then ran into Peterman while shopping. Retail networking! The lesson: Don’t just pump out electronic sendoffs, talk to people. GET OUT!

Kramer had little gigs here and there—like selling coats with Jerry’s father, something like that. Or was it CDs? I think he also sold those.

Newman had a govt job—or quasi-govt. The Post Office. They are laying off now, though.

Didn’t George also live with his parents for quite a while…Also an approach. And it’s helpful at Festivus.

The real lesson in Seinfeld? You can not work at much of anything and still afford to live in New York.

Good to know.

I see...wait a minute...a little gold bar in your hand

According to Alia Beard Rau, Arizona Republic, October 9, 2009, more Arizonans have given up on the pundits and are going to the madams.

No, not that kind of madam—the Madam Knowitall types, psychics and astrologers.

Some people can’t afford their periodic check-ins, but the economy has created many replacements. Business is good!

People want to know if they will be fired or ask when the economy will improve.

Hey, beats listening to Bernanke, which now says we’re A-OK.

Not.

Psychics are good at career paths.

Still, most people are interested in happiness and finding a mate.

Interestingly, the psychics interviewed said they think the more "spiritual" outlook will last, even when the money starts to flow.

Incidentally, I read where is doesn’t cost too much to hang out a shingle—could be a living if you are so inclined.

Getting a good reference

When the movie theatre where my kid worked went bust, the owner gave her a written letter of reference. This way, if and when she looks for another job (don’t ask), she can show the letter. But will he give her an atta girl if someone calls? We don’t know.

It’s best, though, say the experts, to get a reference before you leave—because many employers will only say that you worked there and won’t stick their necks out to say anything personal.

These days, make sure the letter says you were laid off for economic reasons.

Even if you just quit on your own accord, you can ask for a letter.

The trick is to ask your supervisors—not the HR Dept, which may be locked into the “Suzy worked here from March 5 to August 7th” thing.

Sometimes a letter from a coworker can be a plus, too. Make sure it’s a nice, smart, well spoken, intelligent coworker.

Volunteering can "free" you

I don’t mean the kind of volunteering in which someone with no money or ability to get capital mounts a “start-up” and expects you to work for free until money flows in—flows, hah!

I mean the kind of volunteering that can put your newly spare time to some use, give you some momentum and structure in your day, some laughs, some feeling of accomplishment, and can even get you next to people who might know of or have paid work.

Look for a group that you believe in.

See if your skills—such as organization—can be applied to a new area—say animals.

See if you can learn a new field or new information in your chosen field.

Make sure you don’t get overcommitted. Know when to say no. Remember the saying about volunteer politics—There is never more conflict than when so little is at stake.

You may have to pass a background check. Good to know if there is anything lurking there.

Just get out there—shake it up—talk to people and maybe even help someone.

Love a sale--unless it's the whole country

The price of everything is falling, according to Rachel Beck. Of course, many people cannot afford even rock bottom and must dig down from there.

The average house in Detroit is $7500!

People whip out the coupons and pay $5.00 for a basket of groceries.

But what will happen when the makers of flatscreens need to raise the price to actual cost?

If that ever happens.

The problem with this is—If companies can’t make a profit, they can’t hire people. This sucks as we all know. One in 10 people wants to work and can’t. Maybe one in five.

Then what?

Then, maybe, conceivably, this admin will think “industrial policy” and we will try to be a country that makes things again and has pride in our work, not just our ability to live on air or suck as much money out of the govt as possible—which means out of our own pockets and our kids’ future.

This would mean suspending payroll taxes for awhile, incentivizing hiring (and not some dinky $3,000 per employee), lowering capital gains and corporate taxes, and penalizing offshoring. When someone thinks it’s safe to make money again, they will hire people to do it for them.

That is how the world has always been.

Job hunting on the cheap

Some people call the LinkedIn Profile the new resume. (I object to the paid version of LI that only allows three “enhanced” contacts for $25 a mo.)

Answer the LinkedIN questions—raise your profile.

Join some LinkedIn groups.

If you went to college, see if your alumni or college employment office has job listings not shown elsewhere.

Put your resume on Monster and refresh it every 10 days. Job coaches can charge a lot and need some certification—look for that. Resume writers want about $200 on average.

If you go to another city for an interview—see if you can line up more than one interview there. Stay with a friend if you can. You can also ask the prospective employer if they pay—some do.

Remember—job hunting is tax deductible—keep receipts. You may soon have a salary to pay taxes on—and can deduct these outlays.

That would be a big—all together now—YAY!

Are these the vibes you are emitting?

Rachel Zupek, a writer for CareerBuilder.com, says there are ways to come off as the ideal employee. Do you?

First, employers want to see long-term potential in you. You need to know the company’s path and future and express how you fit into it.

You need to seem to be a team player, able to work with others. Being all irritated with the interviewer—bad start.

You need to show you are aware you will make or save the company money.Be specific. Metrics! (Stupid word for numbers and stats that show something.)

Yes, you need an impressive resume.

Is your work experience relevant? Managers don’t have time to train, critique, coax, etc. You need to hit the ground running.

Show your creative problem-solving skills. Things are shifting fast in business.

You need a strong social networking presence, according to this writer. And remember—employers may see it, divorces, bankruptcies, stupid breakups, and all.

Be a multitasker—ask for more assignments when you get the job. Ask to cross train.

Fit in the culture—If the people wear jeans, wear jeans. Same for suits and skirts.

Be enthusiastic. I used to hire people in the Wayback, and you’d be amazed how many forgot to say they were interested in the job, wanted it, were excited.

Ask for the job. The worst thing they can say is no. Or: We are going another direction. Or: We had so many good applicants, etc…

People hire for many different reasons. I once hired a woman because it came up in the interview that she had once had lunch with Mick Jagger. OK, I was young. But—heck—she stayed seven years and got promoted twice. She even outlasted me.

Get rid of stress, now, what are you waiting for?

James S. Gordon, clinical professor of psychiatry and family medicine at Georgetown Univ, says we’re a mess.

Writing in the Washington Post (Sept 29, 2009), Gordon says in 40 years, he has never seen this level of stress and worry and fear of the future.

Me, either! I feel like the country is careening off a cliff. Gordon says his patients ask what they have done, why do they deserve this, is this what their life will be now.

Me, too!

He suggests starting meditation. Slow deep breathing, in through the nose, out through the mouth, keep your belly soft. Several times a day for 10 minutes. This calms the fight-or-flight chemicals.

Exercise also enhances mood chemically.

Reach out to family, friends, and coworkers—don’t withdraw and brood.

Find someone to go over your situation financially—it may not be as bad as you think. Does that Dave Ramsey guy annoy you? Me, too!

One man cut out pictures from a magazine that “said” success to him. Another imagined a safe place several times a day.

I have pictures of a special lake we went to as kids on my screen all day.

Sit quietly, try to clear thoughts—let them drift across your mind without stopping—then a guide may appear, a person you know or knew, an animal, something. Ask about what is happening and see what your mind and guide “answers.”

This is different.

Doing something different is good. If you do something different several times a day is it still different? Meditate on that one for awhile.

You don’t want stress chemicals sloshing in your system, gnawing at your organs and sending you lunging for the bottle or the pills.

Is your res "Internet friendly"?

You can put your resume on hundreds of job boards and send it by email, but you have to be sure your formatting is compatible with electronics.

Gone is the beige vellum or parchment paper—and a grabber headline is in its place.

Be sure to include a professional email address. Babe@hotmail.com does not count.

Don’t use any templates, fonts, tables—these tend of scramble into letter stew.

Adapt your resume to the job advertised. Take off side issues and extraneous material.

Bullet items you want to stand out.

Try to put examples. NOT: "I saved the company $10 million.” INSTEAD: "Creating a task force, I saved the company $10 million in proper supply of paperclips alone. Before, we ordered tons of clips and had to store them. After I came, we got them only as they began to run out, as evidenced by our auto-order system I instituted, and thus saved $10 million in storage.”

Lose the hobbies, body weight, and marital status.

Proof it carefully. Have someone else proof it. Then proof it again. Proof on paper, not the screen. Even have someone read it aloud to you.

Recently, on my home page, someone noticed a repeated word—this has been there for years and professional proofreaders have looked at it.

Go know.

Kicked out of his own company

Chris Taylor, Associated Press, tells of a health care recruiting exec ($2 million co) who had to leave—his partner was the money guy and there was only money for one of them.

He had a choice: Wait for another CEO position or take a step down. He took the step.

If you “are” your job, this can be difficult—you lose everything about yourself.

If you have to have the title of president, you may be in trouble.

If you can be more flexible, you may even like what you find. One exec was a turnaround guy who kept getting shorter and shorter contracts to turn cos around. Finally, he went to being a temporary executive—and loved it.

You have to put ego aside, he said.

And I might add—bitterness. It’s difficult but can be freeing.

Or so people say.

Scientist is a good gig in a recession

Angela Spivey (New Scientist, Apr 25, 2009) says not only do research scientists have job satisfaction, they don’t get laid off or fired as much as other workers or even other professionals.

Pharmcos and Contract Research Organizations (CROs) are two of the places researchers can find work. And it’s not all drug testing—some of it is economics and other disciplines.

Demand for people at the CROs is expected to increase by 15% a year, according to a Tufts study.

This includes lab techs, too.

The skills they look for besides scientific training are ability to work in a team and time management. A good personality for meetings is also a plus.

So even though we will need more medical doctors, we will also be turning to medical schools for researchers.

Checkout the National Cancer Institute K12 award which advances career development for researchers. Other grants also are available.

Find a cure for cancer or a tiny piece of the puzzle—and not get laid off—not too shabby.

A lot of lines of inquiry don’t work out—but Edison once said, “What do you mean I failed? I know 5,000 things that don’t work.”

Check out: www.pharmanet.com, www.neriscience.com, www.quintiles.com, www.duke.edu/medical.html, http://cancercase.edu.

Do you "sign off" when you sign off?

Ruth McCann, writing in the Wash Post, says today’s email environment is like the 18th century—all that writing, all those conventions.

Do you sign off with “Best”? How about, “Sincerely”? Or “Cheers”? I use the latter.

But one guy’s GF was not wowed by “Regards.” She says it sounded detached. They broke up. Maybe she was right, he noted.

If you have been signing “Best” and so has the other person, then one of you puts “Sincerely,” it may mean distancing, coolness.

“Cordially”? Forget it. You are a hostile stiff.

Naturally, someone surveyed this. In business:

"Sincerely"…25%.

"Thank you" or "Thank you for your time"…20%.

"Regards"…5%..

Sometimes I just type: "Star." Let them make of that what they will.

Our daily ramen

That picture? Ramen cake! Yuh-um!

The other night on HGTV, a young couple said they would eat ramen three meals a day to afford a certain house they wanted.

I do eat it for lunch everyday—here in the new America.

I went to a site called Ramenlicious.com. In truth, there are MANY ramen recipe sites. You could eat ramen three meals a day and three courses a meal!

It’s pretty full of sodium if you use the packets, but hey, who needs to use those when you have recipes. (Well, I do—but I only heat and not cook.)

Did I mention ramen is 10 cents a serving? Yup—way under our Recession Budget of $1 a meal.

Although noodles got going in China 4000 years ago as a great host for sauce and a stomach filler, Japan did not dub them “lamen” (from the Chinese “la” for pulling and stretching and “mian” for noodles) until the 19th century. And you know that Japanese “L” and “R” similarity, so they became ramen.

In 1958, Nissin invented the instant noodles that we love today. My kid still prefers Nissin.

I add chopped frozen broccoli to mine and maybe leftover pasta dabs or if we have baked chicken, I put in a few chunks.

Chopsticks optional. If you do use them you have to shove the noodles over to your mouth Chinese style. Soup and chopsticks—not an obvious match.

Take two tinctures of time

Melinda Beck (WSJ, Sept 22, 2009) says colds, flu, sore throat, sore muscles, headaches, diarrhea, cramps, blisters, tennis elbow, colic and a ton of ailments usually cure themselves or go away with time.

One doctor told her, “I tell patients you can go more for yourself than I can do for you.”

This is my philosophy—screaming gallbladder pain, blood ballooning inside your eye, or loss of consciousness excepted—give it a year or two before you plunge into Sick World and get all tangled up in there.

My feeling is the body wants to right itself—to be well. Give it a chance. Check on www.familydoctor.com to see what symptoms might require a look-see.

If you have a decent immune system, most viruses will resolve on their own. Infections in the nose, throat, stomach and upper respiratory tract are usually viral.

Eighty-percent o urinary tract infections resolve..if you run a fever, you may need an antibiotic.

With kids under 3 mos, check with the doc if there is a temp over 100.4 degrees. With older kids, lack of energy, sleepiness, and refusal to eat or drink might warrant a call to the doctor.

75% of sciatica resolves in three weeks. It’s miserable, but 90% of back pain goes away with rest, physical therapy, anti-inflammatories, or chiro.

Yet, some people are embarrassed when a doctor says wait and see or “just rest.” They may not even want to pay the copay.

One doctor says: “I can tell you what it isn’t—it isn’t cancer or a brain tumor.” Ought to be worth a copay.

You have to use your own judgment, not mine, of course, but you might want to hold off unless it’s a crushing chest pain or in women, a left shoulder pain or unexplained indigestion, numbness or weakness esp on one side, sudden severe headache, lost of consciousness or inability to remember events right before a head whack, or flashing lights in your vision (my friend detached retina).

You kind of know if you have to go to the ER—it sort of announces itself in your head. "Time to go."

"Lived in" look beats bare walls

Off topic, but do you ever watch “House Hunters International” on HGTV—ever had a dream of buying a nice farm house in France or a townhouse in Milan—well, houses cost a lot everywhere! Eye-opener! The second some guy blats on about Euros, you know you are done for.

Over here we can’t get ours sold or recoup our investment, but it’s not like huts are going for a song elsewhere.

Usually, on these shows, though, you see some furniture in the rooms. This is called “staging.” There are companies that make a house looked lived in, but not socks on the floor lived in. Or you can google this and get tons of tips.

I read an article by Kara G. Morrison (AZ Republic, Sept 6, 2009) in which homeowners said they lost items when stagers “neatened” their houses and felt very stressed trying to keep everything looking like a model home.

Some tips for staging:

Replace dated knobs and pulls.

Update damaged furniture and match it to the style of the home.

Keep things simple and spare.

The clutter is not charming and must go!

Same for the collections.

Replace vinyl shower curtains—apparently these are a gigantic no-no. Get cloth.

Add plants.

Define spaces—don’t put the exercise bike next to the desk, that sort of thing.

Oh, please, my cement floors are painted red and blue, and one is not even painted—glue marks from the carpet pulled up when we had the fire five yrs ago.

Think loft.

PLEASE think loft.

Oh, who am I kidding.

Is this the time to be a pain?

As we thrash around in the melted down economy, this may not be the time to whine and complain about every little thing at work.

Still, we can’t just wimp out and take it in the neck five days a week.

Sandy Shore (AP) says many employees are overworked (everyone else has been laid off) and little annoyances can loom large. Also, we still have BIG annoyances at work.

But if you want to complain, do it in a quiet, professional way.

Be sure a supervisor needs to get involved. If someone smells or wears their skirts too short, and they are not in a customer area, maybe you can deal with it yourself.

If the complaint affects the money the company makes, it may need to be raised with the supervisor. Make sure you say it has a business impact. Say staff has been cut and then business has picked up and you are staying later and later. You can say you are not burned out yet, but this could happen—and be constructive, suggest maybe a part-time person.

Before you raise it, bounce it off s friend. Role-play.

Time it—don’t blurt it out during a big crisis.

If you don’t get a promotion, complaining probably won’t change it—but you can ask how to position yourself better next time.

Work on your attitude. Complaining can cut both ways and come back to bite you. Or you just might get a solution.

Low-pay, no-pay, cue the screaming

Angela Hoy is a book publisher and long-time advocate for writers. If you fancy the idea of segueing to freelance writing, read her site first… http://writersweekly.com.

Recently, she helpfully broke out some especially misleading code so-called “employers” of writers like to drop into ads. I just added a few comments.

“Paid per post.” This means the rate “per word” is so low, they know posting it will scare writers away. Those posts? Can be 600 words—and may pay $1 to $5. Yes, dollars, U.S., dollars, one US dollar…for intellectual property.You read it right.

“Looking for college student.” This means insultingly low pay. For some reason, the assumption is college students are mouth-breathing chumps. The same goes for Work-At-Home-Moms--they don't use currency, apparently, in the course of their domestic life.

“Percentage of gross sales.” You will never get your hands on our financials.

"No pay—-build your portfolio" or.."web exposure is high." If the exposure was so high, they’d have money to pay. Second, . . if someone does see your byline, they will think: “Cheap labor.”

“To see if you are a fit, send us a 500-word article on nice ways to break up with your boy friend.” Yup—they will use it and don’t hold your breath to get paid.

”Our budget allows $18 for 1,200 words. You will need to sign a non-compete, non-disclosure…” Bangladesh wages plus can’t work for anyone else? Rush right over.

“We pay $1 for every 10 blog posts when your balance reaches $100.” This is the worst since Topsey signed with Simon Legree.

“We pay up to $8.” Well, zero is “up to.”

“Compensation may be available in the very near future.” Or “May lead to more in depth assignments.” Or “I provide the articles, you rewrite.”

Ha-ha on the near future promise, harder work for pocket lint, and plagiarism. Gosh, isn’t this all grand? And the best part? The profession of writer is now hammered excrement and no one thinks they have to pay.

See that pix? Pucker up!

How's life sandwiched in a sign?

Picture this: An MIT grad in a sandwich board saying “MIT Grad For Hire.” No, not a parody—he did it.

Another grad drove a cab with his resume taped to the back of the seat so customers could peruse it.

Another woman printed t-shirts saying she was available for private nursing. Then she biked around wealthy neighborhoods.

They didn’t get jobs—but they sure learned to think out of the box (whatever that means) and be creative.

Some recruiters say these wacky tricks hurt the jobseeker.

Showing up at someone’s office uninvited can be a no-no. (How I got my first writing job, by the way.)

Sending a res directly to the president of the company is also considered bad form.

Having your mother call? Well, you can decide if this is good.

Is your mother famous? Maybe.

I say yes, you can come off as too aggressive or even unhinged. But if the thought and effort give you a few laughs and some excitement, it might lead unexpected places.

Tradeoff for money?

Say, for the sake of argument, you have a pretty good job, feel secure, and still can’t get a raise, much less some grotesque bonus like those govt-supported Wall Street greedheads.

What would you ask for? How about more vacay? This may not be so easy, according to Chip Cutter (AP). The secret is to ask carefully:

Hone your pitch. Bring a list of recent triumphs and projects completed. Put your request in numbers—with dollar signs in front.

Explain how your work will be taken over during those days. Offer to take over more work in the future.

Request small chunks of time.

Ask for time during what you know to be slow periods.

But be careful—if they are constantly looking around wondering where you are, they may find they can live without you.

Companies cultivating laid-off, but not by hiring

According to a story by Dennis Nishi in the Wall Street Journal (Sept 15, 2009), some suppliers are offering laid-off clients courses and other perks looking to the day when these people get jobs and can order from them again.

Example: Mohawk Industries, the floor people. They are bringing in speakers and hosting seminars and webinars for laid-off interior designers and architects to help them keep their skills fresh. Mohawk itself was hit hard by the housing flop and is operating at a loss—they need people to get jobs and buy their carpets!

Although each seminar attracts 80 people or more, they probably have not borne fruit for the company—yet.

Lexis-Nexis is offering lawyers laid off from firms of 50 or more lawyers free access to Martindale-Hubbell—the gold standard listing of firms.

Autodesk is another company trying this. They make computer-assisted design software. It has seminars and also lets unemployed architects download some of its programs free for 13 mos. One program costs almost $4,000—so this is a plus.

Even the Stamford (CT) Blood Center has gotten a better idea. Free career counseling in exchange for a blood donation.

Hey, eat a cookie—you might have learned a thing or two.

Ain't easy being greenish

I guess in the midst of upsidedown houses and falling prices and ruination, we still want to give the planet a hug.

Kara G. Morrison, AZ Republic, Sept 13, 2009, writes about “greening” your hut to sell.

Some brokers even specialize in greened-up properties—these are called ecobrokers.

One aspect pf being green is to buy a house close to work—cutting your poison-spewing commute.

Layout is important. Windows and longest walls should face north. A garage on the west side is a plus.

If the a/c is over 10 yrs old, you could be looking at replacing it. You can save 40% or more on electricity with a new system (though the elec co will raise rates after your little rebate, so contain that excitement).

You want windows with low-emittance coatings. Shades and coverings are also good.

Get a programmable thermostat.

Get an energy-rated water heater and keep it at 120 degrees. Heating water takes 15-20% of your bill.

Replace a fridge over 15 yrs old. New washers and dishwashers save on water even more than electricity.

Make sure the whole outside—walls, attic, doors, windows—are efficient. A pro inspector can tell you.

I got a new heat pump—it was very nice in here at a setting of 79. The bill was still bad, though—and next yr, I begin paying for the giant steel thing on the roof.

Oh, you pay, you pay.

Table manners can make or break

Peter King writes about this in the WSJ, Sept 10, 2009.

You may be asked to eat a meal with a prospective employer.

Use the wrong fork—and you’re done!

There are business dining courses you can take—but these require some, um, bread.

One is called Professional Table Manners—this is an online course from the Charleston School of Protocol and Etiquette. It’s $49—no video—but you can “drag” table items around the screen to see if you get the idea.

Dining for Profit takes you to a posh resort and points out the pluses and minuses
about four diners. (Don’t shake that sugar packet before opening, she advises.)

Some tips:

Don’t order sloppy, drippy food.

Don’t answer your cell.

Chew with your mouth closed

Don’t get drunk.

Use the silver from left to right—it should be in the correct order.

If you are offered caviar, take the job.

Aw—kidding.

Be sure to put your napkin in the right place when you’re through. I don’t know where that is—I am pretty sure it’s not your pocket.

I once wiped my mouth on a bow hanging from my blouse—oh, look, not the napkin.

I also remember how I was taught to eat soup—spooning outward. “Like little ships going out to sea, I push my spoon away from me.”

There should be a poem for all of these.

Set aside worry time

If you worry all the time, it keeps sending cortisol into your bloodstream and screwing up your organs. It’s called stress.

So if you are unemployed, or someone is sick, or you are freaking out, concentrate on your breathing for 5 minutes three times a day. Take full breaths—imagined your lungs filling from the bottom (your stomach should pooch out, not suck in).

Step using credit cards if you can. (This is always so hard to do.)

Cut the restaurants. Even fast food is over $20 for a family. It’s usually cold anyhow.

Check out all those coupons you used to toss.

Stop waste—set the thermostat higher.

Try to keep your paws off your 401(k).

If someone owes you money—now’s the time. If they are short, ask if they can make payments.

But above all, don’t just fester every minute. Read the kids a story or even write them one on the computer, take a walk, try out a new cheapster recipe, If you can concentrate, this might even be a good time to improve your sex life.

Worry 15 minutes a day. If panic starts to slip in, say “Detach, detach” and turn to some distraction.

No—not vodka.

Have you noticed--we are all getting swine flu

I am sorry—H1N1. Kind of likable, like R2D2.

Half the country is slated to get it—the vaccine won’t be along until Oct and is last-minute and full of adjuncts that could cause illness, maybe, down the road.

Isn’t it always something?

Manoj Jain, an infectious disease doctor, writes about this in the Washington Post, Sept 8, 2009.

His 13-yr-old got "normal" flu, which got him thinking. After Jain’s 13-yr-old, her older sister got it (same bedroom). Then his wife got it.

Out here in AZ, the swine version seems to hit children, sick people, and pregnant women the hardest, based on hospital admissions.

This stuff travels by droplets from coughs or sneeze, off the surface of things, and from hands to mouth transfer.

Cough into tissues or your elbow. Have you tried that—maybe my elbow is not too flexible.

The virus can last 24 hrs to 7 days on a non-porous surface. That’s long!

As for touching your face or mouth—you do it more often than you think. I know I do.

We wash hands a lot. We go through the sanitizer. If someone at your house has the flu, you can wear a mask if you find it tolerable.

When Jain’s wife got their normal flu, he slept in the guest room.

He was feeling left out, he said. Then he got it.

So, folks, another crapshoot. Ya’ll stay healthy now. Oh—and Bird Flu is still around, too. Gotta love the zootics.

Video resumes--thoughts?

Until they have a video camera that erases a few chins (moving Photoshop), I am not in.

Eileen A.J. Connelly writes about this for Associated Press.

The source in her story, a senior exec, though, said when she got her first video app from someone, she thought it was bold and stood out. She watched it.

HR people say these have to be part of a thought-out package.

The key is to “not look weird,” or you could end up on YouTube.

You need good production values (probably not your brother-in-law).

If you are not comfortable and prepared, you can come off wooden.

Also, videos can take too long each for HR people to scan them. And the vetting cannot be done by computer.

Ideas, readers?

PS Your dog? He does not need to be in it.

Even old hands get jammed up

Our bud Candice Choi, Associated Press, has written about six common questions that can trip you up.

How would you improve our company or product? First, point of what you like and know about the company. Then if you supply a few ideas, ask if these have been considered—say that you are curious.

Greatest weakness/greatest strength. Own up to a fault—it makes you look honest. Give an example of how this worked out and what you learned.

Why did you leave your last job? If you were downsized, just say it. There is no taboo these days. If you left voluntarily, be specific about why you decided to do it. Don’t badmouth people at the old job—it makes the interviewer wonder what you would say about him or her.

What is the worst boss you had and how did you handle it? Don’t blow up! Tell a story of how you handled an uncomfortable situation professionally. No names.

Describe a life-changing situation and how you grew from it. Don’t pick a conversation-stopper. I have one so gross and life-changing, people freak out. I would never mention it, although it would pop into my mind immediately. Keep it short, don’t ramble.

Why are you the right person for this job. Give specifics—you want more sales, I boosted sales 5% at my last job. Don’t just say you’d be great.

I would add:

You seem pretty overqualfied, are you sure you want this job. Remember—you are not telling them what they can do for you, but what you can do for them. So say, “I am not sure I am overqualfied, but if I am experienced at this, it works in your favor, doesn’t it? To be honest, I wasn’t crazy about managing people in my old job and would welcome a chance to do the work, which is what I do best.”

Can a pro help?

A “professional” WHAT is the question. Candice Choi, Associated Press, writes about this.

Unemployment is officially 9.7% but many people have given up and in some locales, it’s 20%.

Anyone can say they are a job coach or a resume writer.

Ask friends for referrals if you want a fresh eye on your materials. Check references.

Get the deal in writing—you will do what, the person will do what, when, and how much.

Resume writing usually starts with an interview of an hour or more. The writer can get you started—help you see how your experience fits together and can be used to best advantage.

I say it’s like going to a psychiatrist.

You should get your draft resume in a week, with the option to make changes.

A job coach is a bigger commitment. You should get tips on networking, on your resume, on interviewing.

You may even get homework assignments.

You may pay around $160 an hour (Choi says, I say less), with several sessions a week. You might be able to attend a small group session for less.

One cheaper way I have done this is to “bookend.” Call a friend, say you are calling five people or going to lunch with someone, or whatever, then call again and say, “I did it.” This keeps you accountable.

And it’s fun to chat a little about how it went.

Libraries and churches also have free sessions. And don’t forget job fairs.

Make your detergent--says frugal woman

I like this Leah at Suddenly Frugal. Check her out at http://suddenlyfrugal.com.

She had one segment on making your own laundry detergent. Now, I am not a huge proponent of cooking all your drugs and products—but those huge price tags on Tide and other name brands bug me!

She uses Arm & Hammer Washing Soda (not baking soda), 20-Mule Team Borax (calling all boomers), and a bar of Fels-Naptha soap.

2 parts washing soda, 2 parts Borax, 1 part grated Fels-Naptha (cheese grater). Some readers made it 2:2:2.

She uses ¼ cup per load.

She put the stuff in first, then the water. No bubbles.

Some people used a food processor to chop up the soap. Some pretreated with the Fels.
It even works in cold water.

How can you be frugal and use hot water?

Not by pasta alone

Yick, this Recession Diet is making my hair fall out. Too many carbs…but when you try to eat for $1 a meal per person, carbs are prominent.

Still, Harvard tells us we need to add some nutrient-rich foods—foods that contain vitamins and minerals and not just “energy,” or carbs.

The list includes: Avocados, chard, kale, mustard greens and spinach, bell peppers, brussels sprouts, mushrooms, baked potatoes, cantaloupe, raspberries, strawberries, blueberries, low-fat yogurt, eggs, seeds (pumpkin, sesame, sunflower), dried beans (garbanzo, kidney, navy, pinto), lentils, almonds, cashews, peanuts, barley, brown rice, salmon, halibut, cod, scallops, shrimp, tuna, chicken, turkey, lean beef.

We get chicken when it’s on sale—put a few chunks into ramen.

We get frozen greens—the same, in ramen.

We have hard-boiled eggs on hand.

Eat some peanut butter or some protein in the morning or you will get the vapors.

Keeping up appearances

The Washington Post had a story on whether people had enough money to replace their torn undies—this is now an economic indicator.

But there is an underlying message—we need to keep up appearances and for our mental health, even in places that don’t show.

Incidentally, we see more grownups in the supermarket in jammies these days. Yes, things are bad, but don’t completely go to seed, clothes-wise and behavior-wise.

Marcia Heroux Pounds, Fort Lauderdale-Sun Sentinal, wrote about this.

When you do get a job interview—spiff for it. Dark socks, dark pants, men. Belt should match shoes. No wild ties.

For women, A suit or a jacket over a knee-length dress. No chandelier earrings.

If you are in a creative field—you can bend this some—throw on the weird accessory.

Sit up straight. Look the interviewer in the eye. You might even want to videotape yourself beforehand.

Turn off your cell during interviews. Don’t have your dog record your ad-home message, or your kid.

Follow up interviews with a hand-written thank you—delivered by express mail. Now that is snappy!

Oh, and cover up your tatts. This is why you didn’t get your neck or hands done.

After the interview—climb back in those jams and head for the store. But think about this: What if you run into that interviewer or get in a conversation with someone with a job opening then sort of doesn’t mention because of your attire.

Watch yourself pronouncing this

Out here in Phoenix land, some businesses have created their own “currency,” called PHX BUX.

It’s a coin, not paper scrip.

The idea is to corral consumers into shopping locally. Each store owner in the system buys a coin for a dollar—and the coins are worth a dollar at the cash register of another participating store.

The store owners often give a little premium to someone using a PHX BUX coin—such as an extra “frequency” stamp on their coffee card.

This has been tried elsewhere, too, in Michigan and the Berkshires in NY State.

The store owner says the biggest plus is to get people talking about money and life.

This will date me, but when I was a sprout, back in Missouri, they had these red and green plastic disks called “mills.” There were to pay part of a penny in tax. That’s when they didn’t just round up and suck it out of your pocket like now.

OK--look alive!

Dawn Fallik, WSJ, Aug 18, 2009, says you have to keep your skills sharp while sitting at home and/or job hunting.

Stay connected with your industry associations—check those websites once a week. Get the magazine or whatever.

Go to conferences in your industry. Ask if they have special rates for the unemployed—they may even comp you if you were a past member.

Join local groups—like the chamber, offer to run a committee, get involved.

Take classes—not online, in person.

Take entry-level courses in stuff you don’t know, such as web design. Get an advanced certification in your field.

See what training programs you can get courtesy of the state (the state state, not this behemoth welfare state).

Write about your industry, start a blog, find five people you always wanted to talk to and interview them for your local paper.

But on that last—don’t get all gushy and offer to do it free, see what they say. Eager freebers are ruining my business.

Food for thought

I felt like writing about some delish recession grub or something, but nothing came to mind, so back to the workplace stuff. The food pix is just to be ironical, which I felt like being, sue me.

According to Dana Mattioli, WSJ, Aug 18, 2009, women and men are being tossed almost equally—sort of.

A study in the Harvard Business Review found that women with MBAs have fared almost equally. Among men with MBAs, between 2007 and 2009, 36% were promoted and 10% lost their jobs. For women, this was 31% promoted, 12% fired.

5.4% of men and 5.2% of women over 25 are unemployed right now.

In Europe, another study showed, women were promoted many points less often than men. Some scientists say this is a “woman” thing in Europe.

In another finding, women were willing to relocate almost as often as men were. There goes that myth.

In one case, the hubs was the trailing spouse twice.

What does all this mean? Equality in adversity? You tell me.

Outplacement no big woo for some

Time was, when you lost a big exec job, they provided outplacement services to cushion the blow.

Now, according to Phred Dvorak and Joann S. Lublin, WSJ, Aug 20, 2009), companies are skimping on such services, limiting the time they can be used.

Resume services can be impersonal and rote, or even wrong, from these services.

Many times employees (40%) don’t show up for outplacement or prefer cash. Two-thirds of companies that had layoffs offered the service.

Employees are angry, the cos say—and that anger gets transferred to them.

One feature is an office to use to look for work. Companies don’t track how many people get jobs, though, although some are gearing up to do this.

Sometimes, anecdotally, the advice is weird—one client was told not to drink diet Coke, it makes you look immature.

One woman did not like the resume a company did for her—too many dates on it, pinpointing her age. They sent it anyway—with a cover letter with a typo in it.

To make it worse, the same typo letter and weird resume approach from another client went with hers to the same potential employers.

Both went to File 13.

For you young people, that’s the trash.

Chronic illness in the recessed workplace

Candace Choi, Associated Press, says esp in a recession, absences and taking lots of sick leave can hurt.

But if you have a chronic illness, soldiering on in fear can tip your health over.Talk to your boss. Explain what you need. How many days will you have to come in late or leave early, say for chemo.

Know your rights under the Americans with Disabilities Act—www.jan.wvu.edu.

If you have used your sick leave, you may get disability days..maybe at reduced pay. A week to five months is considered short-term disability and usually insurance will be continued.

Under long-term disability, 60% of pay seems to be the norm. You can get laid off during long-term disability, though—your job is not guaranteed. ‘

After 12 months on the job, you qualify for 12 weeks of family leave a year, This is unpaid, but health insurance is continued.

Or you can try for the Big Kahuna—Social Security disability, which is about $1100 a month and takes years and probably an attorney to get. The lawyer gets $5000-plus when the back claim comes through.

Still, you have to step up and see what you can do.

Let's spiff up the old image

Christina Binkley, WSJ,.Aug 21, 2009, talks about an ad exec in NY who wears a suit even in a casual office environment. He likes to look polished. Sometimes people say, “I hope you didn’t wear that for me,” and he says, “You’re worth it.”

Execs these days also spell out words in emails and use the cap key. none of this lower case stuff...

Another guy was always using swear words—he sort of went back and apologized.

One in ten people is unemployed—if you were laid off, just say it. Even if you were fired for cause, people may assume you got hit by the economy. Don’t be too detailed.

And don’t make a video calling your former employer obscene names. These are all over YouTube. Not a brilliant move.

Out here in AZ, spiffing up may mean a bola tie (rock around your neck). Resist.

OK, that’s me—I hate those. I got in a lot of trouble saying that in a newspaper column. Why, Barry Goldwater even started a Bola Tie Society out here—they meet. Didn’t know that until it was too late.

Become a er...field analyst

If you speak Arabic, are ex-military intelligence, or have some other skill the alphabet agencies might want—why not consider intelligence work?

Even if you have a lot of debts, if you have enough skills and show a proactive intention to get rid of your debts, these agencies may consider you.

Check out: http://www.intelligencecareers.com/

Also: CIA, NSA, and other govt websites. You are a researcher—find those urls.

If you hold dual citizenship with another country, you may have to give it up. Discuss this upfront.

Do they supply the trench coats? Doubtful.

You have to take the GOOD with the bad

You are downsized, right-sized, laid off, screwed, pick one—it is a scary time. Carol Orsborn, PhD., has a new book out titled, The Year I Saved My (downsized) Soul: A Boomer Woman’s Search for Meaning...and a Job (VN books, http://tinyurl.com/mc-4m3m).

She lists some things that can easily get lost and are worth remembering.

All you can hope to conrol…is whether you bring your best or your worst to bear.

Embrace the possibility that many things are bound to get in your way. Success comes not in spite of what happens to you, but because you have grown large enough to embrace it all.

It is in the void that the status quo has the lightest hold on us. Released from the constructs of our everyday life, we have the least to lose. In the void, we are freest to make changes.

You don’t need an upbeat or even a brave attitude to make progress. You need discipline to put resumes out, make phone calls, and follow up on leads. You can do this whether you are happy, sad, anxious or full of faith.

It’s the economy that’s broken—not you.

When you give up the illusion of control, you can't always stop bad things from happening. But you can’t stop good things from happening, either.

Remember that—good things will happen and you can’t stop them.

Bad or good time for a sabbatical?

Some brave employees are asking for paid or unpaid time off to pursue other projects or recharge, despite the bad economy.

Rachel Beck, Associated Press, writes about this.

Maybe the workload where you work may be low—rather than fewer employees chasing more work.

You have to know your company. Seventeen percent of companies still have a sabbatical policy.

If your company has just laid off a lot of people and put the work on the backs of those who are left, this may not be the time to try to duck out.

Try to have a game plan—maybe ask for half pay or offer to ask for no pay.

Highlight the benefits to the company. You may take courses. You may get recharged and peppy. At least they won’t have to pay to turn the lights on in your office.

Make your approach positive.

Of course, there is always the “out of sight, out of mind, someone steals my work and job” thing to think about.

Uh-oh, both spouses at home at once

Elizabeth Bernstain wrote about the efx of layoffs on marriages (WSJ, Aug 11, 2009).

One woman has been “off” since Dec and when her husband walks in, she ambushes him to talk to her. She tells him what plants have ripened in the garden. He, of course, is mesmerized by this material. She also emails pix of the pets to him at work.

“Huge stress,” remarks hubs.

You know what they say about retirement—half as much money, twice as much spouse.

Well, this applies to layoffs, too.

Also couples start to pick at each other—one may not call clients often enough, the other one takes naps. Suddenly this takes on great import.

One couple made a pact—no complaining. “That is hard,” one remarks.

Wait—was that a complaint?

Would Jeff Lewis approve?

I love that “reality” show FLIPPING OUT—with obsessive-compulsive house flipper and designer Jeff Lewis. I want a House Manager to do “the list” everyday. But noooo….I had to give birth and believe me your kids make baaaad House Managers.

Anyhow, Jeff starts a new season tomorrow, Tues, on Bravo—get in touch with your Inner Bossy-Cow.

In the meantime, Kara G. Morrison, AZ Republic, Aug 9, 2009, writes about how to make your pathetic former investment—your house—more attractive to buyers.

First—it must not be bare rooms—you must put in some groupings and touches—this is called staging.

One stager does “comfy-chic.” Hmmm…guess that means not too chic. I can handle that—I am mid-century modern (sorta, or would like to be), but my office cement floor is not painted, which I used to consider charming and loft-like, but now see is crappy-chic.

If I were to try to unload this hut—I probably would have to recarpet. This is recommended.

Big wall-to-wall bathroom mirrors are out—get framed ones.

Update light fixtures and fans. Forget those Hollywood makeup light rows.

Forget the shower door. Nice, new shower curtain. Also—those clear curtains—you can wash those in the machine and they look like new.

Get rid of dead trees, pull weeds, plant flowering species.

Epoxy the oil-stained garage floor—people go oooo.

Clean, clean clean. And no clutter!

See? Now Jeff is happy. Or as happy as he gets.

If you still have a sense of humor, it could pay off

John Rogers, Associated Press, says some laid-offs are doing standup. More than a thousand would-be comics showed up at an open call in NY.

They quickly learn that the same joke may kill one night and fall flat the next. It’s worse than golf, says comic Paul Rodriguez.

The pros say it takes 10 yrs to get into this—and by then you may be too old.

Still, Rodney Dangerfield was an aluminum siding salesman over 40 before he got any respect.

Try it—you might like it and they might like you. Go know.

One of my favorite comedians of all time was Jackie Vernon, president of the Dullards Club. “Yeah, at every meeting, they showed slides of Baltimore after a heavy rain.”

He also remembered a woman who came to every show. “She sat in the front, two suitcases. I finally said, ‘What do you think this is, the bus station?’ One night…the bus came in and picked her up.

“Makes you think.”

Idea she probably didn't know she had

There was a story in the paper today—local section—on a woman who was trying everything to get a job. After 20 years of unemployment, she hit the bricks 7 mos ago.

She has applied to over 400 jobs, even the burger types--$8 an hr (sadly, these are now the writer types, too).

Finally she ditched constant, wistful Craigs-cruising and went to the social sites. While she still found some live ones on Craigs, she sent her resume to all her friends on the social sites.

Still, nothing.

Yet.

EXCEPT—she got this newspaper story.

Try for it in your town—make yourself sound neat. You probably are neat. Be sure they include your email.

De-stressing first day of school

Think the youngsters aren’t feeling this—the Mom and Dad whispers at night, the cancelled vacays?

Maybe they will be a little more eager to get back to school, who knows. USA Today Weekend has some tips for making the back to school moment even richer for them.

Rich in love, that is.

Set up some one-on-one time to ask them how they feel about school—and tell them some of your ancient memories.

Mark off the days on a calendar to get the very young ones excited.

Move bedtimes forward, so they can get up on time.

Visit the school—the classroom. The unknown can be scary.

Slip a note in your kid’s pocket on the first day—I love you, you are great, etc.

And remind him or her—just because last year sucked, doesn’t mean this one will.

Remind yourself of that, too.

Should you get paid for after-hour calls?

Michael Sanserino, WSJ, August 10, 2009, says there are two lawsuits in the works about hourly workers being asked to work after-hours for free. T-Mobile workers said they are forced to answer work calls on their company-provided phones.

The recession is causing this “assignment creep” and people are afraid to complain—except the lawsuit filers, of course.

Some cops are paid for putting on and taking off their gear.

Other actions rules that people can’t get paid for answering pagers unless it precluded other things they were doing.

What do you think? Taking advantage of all this “smart” tech?

Sometimes it was customer complaints, not just the boss in an emergency—this sounds like work to me.

Around the fire at Laid-Off Camp

Out here in the Valley of the Sun they are holding a Laid-Off Camp. Instead of knot tying—it‘s knot-untying.

It’s more support group than job fair.

Some of these—springing up wiki-style across the country—are free-form, get into when you show up. Others have speakers.

An emphasis in ours will be on starting your own business.

But the real key is networking.

And, I would guess, venting.

The other night, I watched a movie called Office Space. It was pretty funny—the bored, droll guy who never came to work, of course, got promoted.

After a while, he roused himself to rip the company off—and was TOO successful and was about to get caught, and then…

Well, that isn’t the point.

He was funny when the efficiency experts remind him that he missed work the day before. “I wouldn't say I MISSED it,” he smirks.

Still, we have to make money. So camp may be a stop-off.

Parents tearing hair in this economy

Hey—cuts costs at the Hair Butchery.

Kidding.

Karina Bland, Arizona Republic, August 6, 2009, says parenting is tougher when times are bad.

One for The Big Book of Duh.

You can go on all you want about teaching your kids true values and having more time together, but the fact remains that you are crazy worried, short-tempered, and stingy as hell (“Please just eat one portion”).

Disneyfamily.com surveyed 10,000 parents and more than half, 54%, said they were stressed out most of the time. Two-thirds said this economic “downturn” had affected their families negatively. A lot, 60%, are worried about not keeping their jobs.

People need time alone, but the kids are there…Abuse is up. At one big hospital—it was up 60% these last two years.

Some moms said they tend to ground the kids more, lash out. Some attend Parents Anonymous meetings.

Some parents have even called and asked about giving the kids away because they could no longer give them a decent life.

I wonder if the White House ever sees those requests, with their keggers, luaus, $100a lb beef, New York dates and Parisian vacations?

Don’t send the kids away….This, too, shall pass in some form. We can hang on. One foot in front of the other.

We don’t need no stinking vacays. We’re tough and we love our kids.

Accept substitutes--sometimes

Every chain grocery has private labels—and these are where you will find deals these days.

Kroger brand spaghetti sauce in a CAN for 99 cents beats Prego all hollow, in my humble.

Now private labels are going “organic,” too, so you can at least think you are eating more healthily, while still saving money.

In fact, private label organic has now captured almost a fourth of the organic market.

The big brand-name organics are now competing with themselves and offering stores private label organic.

Even Whole Foods is feeling the pinch—and cutting. Or should I say, chopping?

(To me, Whole Foods could stand to cut—that stuff is so expensive, you lose your appetite.)

You know what isn't good? Store-brand Kraft Dinner--the one that does not say Kraft.